A virtue, by definition is what we usually call a “standard” in colloquial terms, and there is nothing wrong with having standards. However I like to put virtues into different categories. – Patience, generosity, kindness, compassion are non-material virtues for instance.
On the other hand there are man made, virtues or standards. – They are less metaphysical, or spiritual, we create them, or they are created for us externally by culture, the media, school system and other sources of programming in this proverbial “Matrix”.
For instance there are people who think it is virtuous to only wear a certain watch, live in certain places or be seen in a certain light. They value those things to a point where they follow and glorify people who live a certain lifestyle, whilst frowning upon, or seeing those who don’t have those possessions as being less important.
Again there is nothing wrong with aspiration and ambition. There are constructive ways some biases may serve us, but this article is here to highlight the destructive side of it. I have observed situations in real life where some of these standards limit a lot of people’s potential and diminish their opportunities.
For instance. In my first example.
I will begin with a cousin of mine, whose self sabotaging virtue was that he was “TOO COOL” to be seen doing mundane jobs (sweeping, cleaning, cutting grass etc), or vending. I remember offering him multiple jobs at a time he had been unemployed for close to four years and he wouldn’t show up. – In fact if I am honest he had never been employed and was turning 27.
In his paradigm being COOL is a virtue. So he is willing to under-mine self sustenance just not to be seen selling vegetables at a corner, especially by girls.
Let’s go to the next example before I say too much about that individual – (he indeed is a real life family relation, so we don’t want to go too deep).
So here goes example 2:
I grew up with a certain friend who became a producer (in the early days of me adopting rap). He was very brilliant at making instrumentals, and was on of the first people I saw getting paid by artists to sell instrumentals. This was as far back as 2009.
However, his self imposed and limiting virtue was this, “I only produce English songs”, –( He was of the belief that Shona was what at that time was termed “gwash“, our affectionate pronunciation for the word ‘gauche’). He found it virtuous to speak English with brilliant eloquence. – He thought English rapping artists would be the first to be recognized outside Zim.
Fast forward to now, experience has shown us many vernacular rapping artists going more places than the artists he thought would. Also it stifled his career, as he at that time turned down offers to produce people who are now house-hold names to this day.
As aforementioned the first 2 anecdotes are based on true stories and real life people I know. I wonder how they would react to me saying this if at all they clicked this link.
As a generalization I bet in your minds eye, you too are seeing a person who has STANDARDS that may be secretly pulling them back. It is also more productive however if you switch your focus from them , to recognize your own areas of fault.
The motive of this article is not for us to overly focus on them, but on ourselves.
It may be something as simple as someone who wants to succeed in selling a product boastfully saying, “I don’t do Tik Tok,”as if if it’s something that they deserve a medal for, whilst potentially missing on all the people who could order their stuff from the platform.
Or perhaps a person who created a standard that says they only live uptown (“A lion never eats grass”), who then struggles during a hard job hunting phase to come to terms with the fact that they will have to live in Glen View for a season, to balance their accounting. – It is often a battle with the ego.
BLURRED LINES BETWEEN – SELF SABOTAGING VIRTUES & SELF SERVING BIASES
As I was building this article I consulted with members of my WhatsApp group and got brilliant contributions from Amanda-Ellen Erina Nicola Jojo and Winnie Nkonde, both of whom are esteemed writers and qualified journalists.
“Self serving bias is whereby one takes credit of all the good things that happen to them. But if something bad happens they always find someone to take the blame.
For example, I am a student at an open learning institution and it is upon me to put a lot of effort so that I can pass using the university resources availed to me as well as utilizing the tutors at my disposal.
In the context of self serving biases if I pass I will take all the credit, I will post a status saying I have made it through my intelligence and discredit the fact that there were resources, course outlines, lecturers, supervisors etc.
But if I fail, I will blame “the system”, a “system” that I got myself into. What I mean is, I was aware that it’s an open learning institution which means I have to put in the work hence blaming the lecturers ultimately means am having a self serving bias.” – Amanda-Ellen Erina Nicola Jojo
Self-serving bias is when you only see or remember things that make you look good and ignore things that make you look bad, such as only posting your accomplishments on social media and not your failures. – Winnie Nkonde
As they rightfully articulated , in a self serving bias, when one loses they may tend to divert the blame to someone or something else.
So for instance my producer friend never really accepted the defeat that his self sabotaging virtue had rendered him.
Instead of admitting that he was wrong about the audiences taste. He instead doubled down to say that the reason his producing career didn’t grow is because “Zimbabwe doesn’t deserve him!” (He didn’t say those words exactly, I am just summarizing how he sees it.)
So in his mind the radio DJ’s that didn’t pick his productions , were either gwash too or probably did payola (bribery) with the producers who managed to win. – Then the other self serving bias was, “I don’t want to be on ZBC anyway“.
It’s much like a dude who gets snubbed by a beautiful, up-town girl, and then in a sour grapes tone says, “Ndagara handifariri ma salad, plus kano-noza” (English: I don’t like affluent girls, plus they speak nasally and are snobs”).
Do you have self serving biases?
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